The Unexpected Gifts of Fatherhood

This Father’s Day, I’m focusing on the unexpected gifts of fatherhood! Being a parent provides you with infinite opportunities to learn and grow.
It also provides you with many challenges. The topics below are areas of my life that I feel have improved as a result of becoming a parent. Remember, it is essential to grow and challenge yourself to grow and challenge your kids. You cannot expect your kids to be great people if you aren’t holding yourself to the same growth standard.

If you aren’t a parent, the below topics likely still pertain to you.

Modeling Resiliency, Vulnerability, and Gratitude

Having kids can help hold you accountable. This past week has allowed me to practice what I preach. For those who don’t know, I injured/strained my lower back on Monday the 6th. I have shared this experience in our private Facebook group and on my personal Instagram (in a Highlight). I was bedridden for the first 3 days of the injury. 8 days later, I am walking, squatting, lunging, riding my bike, lifting light weight, and improving continuously.

My kids had the opportunity to see me at a very low point, physically. As someone who teaches tens of thousands of people to overcome pain, it can be a blow to the ego to be the one that is suddenly stuck to a bed and taking medications to help overcome it.

I made sure to voice my frustrations and emotions to Katie and the boys. Then, I got to work mentally. I shared what I was grateful for and how this was an opportunity to practice my knowledge of overcoming pain. I shared my plan of action and how I would overcome this situation quickly and gracefully. I explained to my boys and my followers/members that pain and struggle are opportunities to learn, grow, and take action. That is exactly what I have done.

In 7 days, my boys saw me go from peeing in a bottle on the pull-out couch in the middle of the living room to walking up a hill, squatting, riding my bike, and tucking them in at night. This past week was an opportunity to show them what was possible in the face of so much pain and frustration. You can struggle and also remain positive.

Our kids need to see how to overcome an obstacle in life. They got a huge dose of that!

Are there any appropriate situations in your life in which you might be able to share your struggle with your kids and show them how you can be vulnerable, grateful, and resilient?

Reflection on our Own Childhood

I’ve realized that my parents did a pretty good job raising me. I am grateful for their dedication to making me a decent human being.

Some people may not have been so lucky, and that is okay.

Having kids allows you to reflect on your parents and be grateful for what they sacrificed (or didn’t sacrifice) while raising you. Whether your parents were excellent or not, your interactions with your own kids have helped shape who you are as a parent and as a person. You are given the opportunity to reflect on your childhood (good or bad) and make sure that your kids live an awesome life.

We like or dislike some qualities of how our parents acted around us. Now, reflect upon your own parenting. Are there any qualities that you show to your kids that you might be able to improve? In most instances, we have some undesirable qualities that stick around into adulthood. Do you really want to teach those qualities to your kids? Can you shift your behavior to model trustworthiness, vulnerability, growth, open-mindedness, resiliency, patience, consistency, and integrity?

For instance, do you ever shame yourself for your diet, exercise, or life choices? If so, you are likely doing that in front of your kids or to your kids. We don’t want to teach the kids that shaming themselves is okay. Forgive yourself, and then take action.

Time Management

Exercising, eating well, getting sleep, building a business, having a solid relationship with Katie, having fun with the boys, and having time for myself is a lot on any parent’s plate. Having kiddos has taught me to weed out things that aren’t important. There are so many distractions in our world, and it can be difficult to pull ourselves away from social media, terrible news from around the world, the television, video games, etc.

I have learned the hard way that if I don’t let go of those time-consuming things that don’t fulfill me, I end up losing sleep, the business suffers, I work out less, my relationship struggles, and, overall, I have less time for the boys. Now, my days are filled with actions I take to progress us as a family in the right direction. Does scrolling Instagram or TikTok do that? Hell no.

Sometimes, you need to “play” and have time for yourself. For me, I play video games - that recharges my mind heavily. For others, it might be meeting with friends, taking baths, reading books, or hiking in nature. This play-time is essential. If you are always working and never give your mind time to just “be” and relax, your work will diminish. You must also find a balance between play that is required to recharge you and play that becomes addicting and takes time away from your goals.

Can you find a way to combine your recharging play-time with your kids?

So, make sure to focus on things that will improve your life and find some time to recharge!

Communication

Parenthood can help you with communication. There are some instances where you might get upset or angry with your kids. In those instances, I would often raise my voice, make demands of them, or make ultimatums. It is common and normal for parents to “lose their shit,” but when you hear one of your kiddos speak the same way to their sibling, it’s like an out-of-body experience. You think to yourself, “Do I really sound like that?”

Ultimately, being a parent has taught me to communicate with the kids, and other people, with patience. The goal for me is to listen first, then respond. The last thing I want is for the kids to grow up yelling at people when things aren’t going their way.

I instead focus on keeping a low tone and eliminating emotions from my speaking. My requests are confident and straightforward, but not yelling. The kids respond well to this, and it teaches them not to raise their voices when an issue arises. Staying calm, focused, and collected will always win against yelling and chaos.

Are there ways that you can improve your communication with your kids and peers?

Get in Touch with Your Inner Child

That little kid is always in us. As we get older, we inevitably mature and stop acting a fool.

When you have kids, though, it is really incredible to be able to let that little kid out and act like a complete psycho with your kids. Emotionally, it can be freeing. If you haven’t stooped down to your kiddos’ level yet, I highly recommend you give it a try. Everyone will smile and laugh, and you will feel amazing.

When was the last time you let your little kid out?

What gifts has fatherhood given you that you weren’t expecting?

Last year I wrote about the unexpected lessons of fatherhood. You can read that here.

Have a great Father’s Day, everyone!

-Andrew at Whealth